SMS Jokes.

**slick** · #31 (**permalink**) 18-04-2006, 01:36

Ignore him mickey he's becoming a right miserable old git in his old age.

Heres one you'll Like m8...

Bought the wife a mood ring

The wife wouldent believe me when i told her she's becoming a right moody bastard , so i bought her a mood ring to monitor her moods.
Believe me it does work! as when she's in a good mood it turns bright green and when she's in a bad mood, it leaves a big fcuking red mark on my forehead.

**kompressaur** · #32 (**permalink**) 18-04-2006, 01:54

thats shite too slick and its advocating domestic violence. Women can get away with murder by just saying they enraged their husbands for years by doing things and getting hit for it. I aint saying its right to hit a woman but there is a thing called tradition.

Im miserable as sin slick. all over the place. pah i couldnt even begin to tell you. Its the same old thing. I need put down. I'll never play the game.

anyone got any good jokes?

**slick** · #33 (**permalink**) 26-04-2006, 21:48

Soz u didnt like them Komp. have some belters here you cannot fail to be impressed with

Did you hear about the man who got the sack from the dodgems
He was taking them to court for funfair dismissal!!

How do you kill a circus?
Go for the juggler!!

**slick** · #34 (**permalink**) 08-05-2006, 22:25

What's the connection between John Prescott and M.F.I ??

.......2 screws in the wrong place and the cabinet falls to pieces!!!

**slick** · #35 (**permalink**) 17-05-2006, 00:22

Loaf of Bread

I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread the other day, but when I got closer, it actually said,
.

.

.

.

.

.

THICK CUT!!!

**slick** · #36 (**permalink**) 21-05-2006, 22:08

Went to the cash machine the other day and this little old lady asked me to help her check her balance

.................so i pushed the old bastard over!!

**kompressaur** · #37 (**permalink**) 23-05-2006, 03:47

Did you hear about the man who got the sack from the dodgems
He was taking them to court for funfair dismissal!!

i liked that one slick

**slick** · #38 (**permalink**) 18-06-2006, 21:25

newsflash,,,, all asylum seekers have apologised to the nation and are going back home, but before they go, they paying back all the benefits and giving up their homes

( carlsberg dont send text messages, but if they did they world probably be the best text messages in the world )

**slick** · #39 (**permalink**) 06-07-2006, 20:50

One for the Scot's on the board...

What goes beep beep beep beep beep? The England teams open topped parade bus reversing back into the garage.

**slick** · #40 (**permalink**) 07-07-2006, 20:47

Saddam hussein has finally been found guilty
and sentenced to death by firing squad,
as a last request he asked if he can pick
his own 3 man firing squad,he's chose Lampard,
Gerrard and Carragher from 12 yrds.

**MickeyPaul** · #41 (**permalink**) 08-07-2006, 04:44

Beep beep beep beep. Ahhh, bless.

twinkle · #42 (**permalink**) 10-07-2006, 22:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by slick

Paddy & Murphy

Paddy and Murphy in the jungle by a river,they see a mans head sticking out of a crocodile,paddy says to Murphy look at that flash bastard in his LAcoste sleeping bag.

This one has really cracked me up!

**Winrew** · #43 (**permalink**) 11-07-2006, 13:09

How did Bruce Lee die? He caught Kung Flu ........

Saanali Rossi · #44 (**permalink**) 11-07-2006, 14:13

Use your eyes to see my new SMS joke for you all to entertain your families. Let us get ready to rumble!

My new wife's face was furious with me the other day when I tickled her eyes with my goose feather. "Why did you fuck up my pair of eyes with your feather?" she asked me with her mouth.
"I saw they were blue and was trying to entertain them and make them happy." I replied, accidently also spitting some saliva into her eyes too, as well.

Look at that SMS joke!

Tell me when all your family members laugh at it and I will laugh too.

twinkle · #45 (**permalink**) 11-07-2006, 21:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saanali Rossi

Use your eyes to see my new SMS joke for you all to entertain your families. Let us get ready to rumble!

My new wife's face was furious with me the other day when I tickled her eyes with my goose feather. "Why did you fuck up my pair of eyes with your feather?" she asked me with her mouth.
"I saw they were blue and was trying to entertain them and make them happy." I replied, accidently also spitting some saliva into her eyes too, as well.

Look at that SMS joke!

Tell me when all your family members laugh at it and I will laugh too.

PS I love the kung flu one