SMS Jokes.

**slick** · #16 (**permalink**) 11-03-2006, 20:41

Paul McCartney has bought his wife Heather a plane for her birthday.
But she will still use Immac on the other leg!!

Aye the old ones are the best.

**slick** · #17 (**permalink**) 22-03-2006, 22:39

2 rats in a sewer. one says "i'm sick of it. Shit for breakfast, shit for lunch & shit for tea." The other says "Cheer up, we'll go on the piss later!"

**MickeyPaul** · #18 (**permalink**) 23-03-2006, 03:29

Oh Slick. Oh Slick oh Slick oh Slick. I wish you hadn't posted that first one as now I'm really tempted.

**slick** · #19 (**permalink**) 03-04-2006, 18:52

Aye go for it Mickey

Japanese tourist changes 2000yen into £100. Days later, does the same and this time only gets £90. "Why not 100?" he asks. "Fluctuations," said the clerk. "Well, fluck you Blitish too!"

**slick** · #20 (**permalink**) 13-04-2006, 02:47

I was peacefully browsing round the place when this guy in a green overall asked me if I wanted decking

So i got the first punch in

**slick** · #21 (**permalink**) 13-04-2006, 02:48

Paddy & Murphy

Paddy and Murphy in the jungle by a river,they see a mans head sticking out of a crocodile,paddy says to Murphy look at that flash bastard in his LAcoste sleeping bag.

**slick** · #22 (**permalink**) 15-04-2006, 23:43

BOND

A bloke goes up to a bird in a club and says....... The name's Bond! She replies "let me guess, James Bond" He says " No! Unibond" I've come to fill yer crack!

**slick** · #23 (**permalink**) 15-04-2006, 23:45

Lone Ranger

Lone Ranger and Tonto riding across the prairie when Tonto stops, gets off his horse and puts his ear to the ground.
"Buffalo come!" he says
"How on earth can you tell?" asks the Lone Ranger
"Ear stuck to ground!!" Tonto replies

**MickeyPaul** · #24 (**permalink**) 16-04-2006, 00:19

Slick, I don't know where to start. I'm wiping tears here and jokes have never really moved me before. I'm laughing like a... ehhhm..... hyena on speed? I'm high! I'm high on life and your jokes!

**MickeyPaul** · #25 (**permalink**) 16-04-2006, 00:22

Fuck, I can't stop. I'm dripping tears onto the keyboard.

**slick** · #26 (**permalink**) 16-04-2006, 00:31

i better save my good ones for a later date then.

**slick** · #27 (**permalink**) 16-04-2006, 00:32

Tell the truth i didnt think many would get the Buffalo one

**MickeyPaul** · #28 (**permalink**) 16-04-2006, 00:37

Posts 19, 20, 21 and 22 really sealed it for me. I was sort of chortling then they just set me off. I think your wee laughing smilies helped me on my way.

**kompressaur** · #29 (**permalink**) 16-04-2006, 09:58

i only laughed at 22 im afraid Mick. Maybe its just me though. Your jokes are shite Slick stop it pleaseeeeee.

I could however just not click on this thread. I dont wanna miss a good one though. Jokes dont seem as fashionable as thye were in the 70's when the comedians were banging them out.

**MickeyPaul** · #30 (**permalink**) 16-04-2006, 16:39

You can't deny post 11 was pretty funny. I'm not a bad man but it was funny.