SMS Jokes.

[collette]

R u free Tuesday? We'll be trying to make the world's biggest pancake. We have enough hands for mixing, we just need a Tosser....

[slick]

Female dwarf goes to doc's and says 'my fanny is sore' The doctor looks and says 'pass me them scissors'. After snipping away for a few minutes he says 'is that better?' The dwarf says 'yes thats a lot better, what did you do?'

Nothing really just cut the tops off your wellies.

[slick]

Winrew had to show his grey chest hair to prove he could get his pension.
His wife said 'u shud av shown em ur cock & we could have got disability too'

[slick]

The 10th Annual cock sucking contest is Friday.We are asking that u do not participate so someone else can win this year........ Thanks Champ!

[slick]

A girl was granted two wishes by a fairy,she asked for big tits and a tight cunt.The fairy gave her 38dd's and your mobile number.

[slick]

Mango is a little Zambian orphan who walks 5 miles to school everyday. With your help of just 2p a month we can buy a whip n make the lazy cunt go faster!..

[thet10002001]

PHARMACY NOTIFICATION.. . . . . . . As of March 2007 viagra will only be available under its chemical name. Please ask your chemist for mycoxaflopin

[thet10002001]

White man in delivery room. Midwife hands him a black baby. 'is this yours'? 'probably' he replied 'she fu*king burns everything'!

[thet10002001]

lady tells her gp "i've got bad discharge"hesays "drop your pants". he fingers her and says 'hows it feel?' she says 'very nice, but the discharge is in my ear!

[paul]

Originally Posted by thet10002001

PHARMACY NOTIFICATION.. . . . . . . As of March 2007 viagra will only be available under its chemical name. Please ask your chemist for mycoxaflopin

[mr_taffy]

U shit stiring FUCKER THOUGHT I could trust u.
i thought u were a mate.
but you couldnt keep your mouth shut
could you?.
I will never trust you again.
why did you have to go round
telling everyone im so
FUCKING GORGEOUS.

[mr_taffy]

a bloke catches a tasty bird giving him the eye in the supermarket.! do i know you? he says. she asks him arnt you the father of one of my children? he quickly thinks back to the only time he was ever unfaithful and adds were you the the hooker i fcuked over the snooker table at my stag do while your m8 spanked me with a piece of wet celery whist shoving that huge cucumber up my ass?? no she replies im your daugthers teacher!

[thet10002001]

Have you ever seen a tw*t wrapped in plastic?....No?.....then take a look at your passport!!

[thet10002001]

Two eggs are boiling in a saucepan. One says to the other "Look I've got a crack!" The other says "No point in telling me... I'm not even hard yet!!"

[rick s]

A man wakes up one morning and goes downstairs to see his wife over the cooker with a frying pan in her hand. When he gets closer he see's one of his socks in the pan. "What are you doing"? asks the man, his wife replys "exactly what you asked me to do when you rolled in drunk last night" How strange thought the man, I don't remember asking her to cook my sock.