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Old 26-08-2010, 19:22
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Re: SMS Jokes.

I’ve just had the Old bill at my door! The cheeky fucker held up a photo of my mrs and said "is this your girlfriend?" yes i reply, he says" I’m sorry but it looks like she's been in a traffic accident sir? " i said yes i know, but she has a great personality.


A young bloke rushes into the maternity ward to find his wife holding his first son . O M G he said look at the size of his Cock! . . . . Yes said his wife but he's got your eyes.
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Old 27-08-2010, 00:19
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Re: SMS Jokes.

, I'm having those two Kop.

I hear that Apple have stopped development on the new iPhone for children. Apparently the iTouch Kids wasn't a good marketing idea.



Glass coffins!! Will they ever be a success?....
Remains to be seen.
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Old 02-09-2010, 18:00
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Re: SMS Jokes.

A man is in bed with his wife and he asks her, "Give us a Chilean miner would you darling".
"What's that?"she exclaimed, he replies, "You go down to the bottom of me shaft and stay there til fuckin Christmas!"
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Old 02-09-2010, 20:59
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Re: SMS Jokes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by slick View Post



Glass coffins!! Will they ever be a success?....
Remains to be seen.
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Old 02-09-2010, 22:03
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Re: SMS Jokes.

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Originally Posted by Betfly View Post
A man is in bed with his wife and he asks her, "Give us a Chilean miner would you darling".
"What's that?"she exclaimed, he replies, "You go down to the bottom of me shaft and stay there til fuckin Christmas!"
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Old 02-09-2010, 23:03
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Re: SMS Jokes.

, nice one betlfy, I'm having that one too.


I've just started my own business lads.
I'm making landmines that look like prayer mats.
It's doing very well indeed thank you
The Prophets are going through the roof......
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Old 02-09-2010, 23:15
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Re: SMS Jokes.

How funny was that Alzheimers joke I sent you before!
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Old 02-09-2010, 23:43
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Re: SMS Jokes.

I didnt see it Grim , ah right

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Old 17-09-2010, 01:09
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Re: SMS Jokes.

Golden Wonder has announced that for every multipack of NikNaks sold, 50% of profits shall go to the Pakistan flood appeal. The aim is to provide rain coats and temporary housing for the victims. The NikNak paki mac give a wog a home scheme starts Monday.


Sorry, been away for a bit...
Fuckin government holidays at the Queens pleasure are shite!!!
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Old 17-09-2010, 02:44
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Re: SMS Jokes.

Quote:
Fuckin government holidays at the Queens pleasure are shite!
What you been upto Thet?


How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.
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Old 17-09-2010, 12:10
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Re: SMS Jokes.

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What you been upto Thet?


How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.
About 6 months lol, fekkin intent just coz I own a set of scales (and there was a few dodgy bags lol), but I swear it was all personal baby......

Now aint it about time that everyone got off George Michaels back, the warden said its my turn next!!
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Old 17-09-2010, 12:13
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Re: SMS Jokes.

What has George Michael got in common with the Chilean miners?
They'll all be free after 8 weeks of heavy drilling...

After having his arse fcuked to the point of bleeding George Michael has appealed against his 8 week sentence, he wants it extended to 30!
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Old 17-09-2010, 13:08
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Re: SMS Jokes.

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About 6 months lol, fekkin intent just coz I own a set of scales (and there was a few dodgy bags lol), but I swear it was all personal baby......
Ooh, unlucky.
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Old 18-09-2010, 10:16
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Re: SMS Jokes.

I feel sorry for the McCann family. Their last hope has been dashed when it was revealed that Maddy isn't The Stig.
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Old 18-09-2010, 19:58
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Re: SMS Jokes.

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Ooh, unlucky.

Wasnt too bad, I only did 3.... just soooo fuckin borin tho
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