A good read...

[Seen]

2 Years In Prison - A Man's Story

It's an account of an American's stay in prison (2 years for armed robbery). It's long (an hour or more read) but very interesting. He reminds me of Komp in a way...

Inside, I had two pairs of elastic waist track pants, two t-shirts, a wool sweater, and a peacoat with the buttons taken off. Three pairs of boxers. I started with more - but I shit myself a few times when I was high. Not proud of that.

There was a guy we were inside with though, whose cell was on the low tier nearest the main door. So he was the first one to see the fresh meat. Anytime a new inmate would be brought in, he'd yell out 'he fuck babies, I seen him, he fucked a baby, I seen him before I went away niggers, he a baby fucker kill that baby fucker!' and he'd do this every fucking time a new inmate would be brought in. And he'd go on with it for about half an hour afterwards to. So the first thing a prospective convict would hear on being greated to the dorm would be this nigger, with this high pitched Canadian accent - like Steve Erkel - hollaring about how he'd seen you, and that you were a baby fucker.

So when the new inmate would be brought inside, he'd get the silent treatment the whole time this crackhead would be barking about the baby fucker. And then his cellmate would lean in real close and whisper 'you a baby fucker?'

Prison humour is never really funny. That's probably the closest thing we ever had to a running gag. I guess it was funny because we all knew child sex offenders never got locked in with us... but the new guys didn't know that.

[yorkieacermark2000]

Might have to read it all

[Punter]

[Punter]

I'll finish reading all of this over the weekend, i've got to here so far....

I was mostly getting the shit beat out of me by Aryans for consorting with niggers. Broke two ribs, my collar bone, my nose (twice), lost two teeth (they were weak as shit from a diet of candy and smack anyway) but blissfully, was raped only once - by a homiegot with the tiniest cock you've ever seen. I'm a fat fuck, and I swear that thing barely reached my asshole through my enourmous ass cheeks. It was all I could do to not laugh.

[yorkieacermark2000]

Read it all wow just wow Americas prisons are much better to the ones here

[kompressaur]

downloaded for offline reading Seen thanks. I appreciate the compliment btw. I just talk about what happens about me like this fella does no doubt. Maybe it's more a case of getting into situations. That said i just sat in a hotel room for 3 weeks and slick thought it was a literally classic

[slick]

Now did i say it was a literary classic, I said you should write a book because I laughed, I cried, I was inspired.
Your perception of life is like nobody elses I know, the wee things in life like a bug in the bed means a great deal to you, whilst the major things like your own health means fcuk all, its this perception that makes for great reading , I can relate to a lot of what you write and end up putting myself in your shoes when I'm reading it but your view of a subject matter in 90% of cases is different than mine which has me pissing my sides most of the time.
Palin going around the world has been done by all and sundry a thousand times over, there will never be another Komp going round the world, I suppose Carl pilkingtons 'an idiot abroad' broke the mould but Komp you break it into a million pieces.

Just Keep on writing your diaries as they are classics, being able to hold a reader whilst you have only been sat in a room for a fortnight shows just how good they are.

[kompressaur]

lol im sorry slick. It was a funny thing to say mind. Aye your right on the above. I do try to make the dullest of things appealing. Actually if you dont mind me blowing my own trumpet here i enjoyed this post. why? because i was doing nothing at all.

I walked into 'town' earlier and it was as shit as it was before. Yes there is just one bar in town and i was the only person in it. When your sitting on your own you think of strange/boring things. I sat most of the night contemplating the cat that seemed to have it's own wee world chasing Geckos and flying bugs. I wondered about how important that cats life was to the rest of the world and of course the answer was absolutley none.Pretty much as my life is and it made me determinded to have a bigger cultural impact than that cat had.

The next focal point of my night involved a wasp like thing that flew about the place quite majestically. For some reason it dive bombed the floorboards and it was left helpless on it's back. I must have watched that wasp for an hour trying to turn itself over but it failed. All that majestic freedom of flying, all that millions of years of evolution fine tuning it to just leaving it helpless on it's back. Aye very clever wasp. Well done. I didnt know wether to turn it over or stamp on it so i did neither and just left it to it's own devices. Even the cat left it alone. Probably due to experience.

Zen komp says you can learn a lot from doing nothing at all.

You make me titter too slick as you talk about things i dont understand like work, having kids and relationships etc. I think if i had taken this route i might have been able to ....well i dunno....write things that folks can relate to. Suppose as you say though folks are sick of relating to things they know. It's like Michael Macintyre or John Bishop saying 'dont you jiust hate it when...." Ive got none of them. Tell you the truth slick as i type i just try and fill in a few spaces and expand things. Like you'd do on an english test at school. dont get me wrong slick you probably find me 1000% times funnier than my mum does