Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 18-12-2007, 10:44
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 432
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Christmas jokes

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Naughty Night on Christmas Eve

Twas the night before Christmas,and god it was neat.
The kids were both gone,and the wife was in heat.
The doors all bolted,and the phone off the hook.
It was time for some nookie,by hook or by crook.
Big momma in her teddy and me in the nude.
Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.

When out on the lawn there arose such a cry
I lost my boner and momma went dry.
Up to the window i sprang like an elf.
Tore back the blind while she played with herself.
The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built.
Shoved a broom up his ass, right up to the hilt.

When to my wondering eyes should appear.
But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.
With a fat little driver,half out of the sledge.
A sock in his ear, a bra on his head.
Sure as i'm speaking, he was high as a kite.
And he yelled to his team,it didn't sound right.

Whoa Shithead,whos Asshole, whoa Stupid,whoa Putz.
Either slow down this rig or i'll cut off your nut's.
Look out for the lamp post,and dont hit that tree.
Quit shaking the sledge ,'cause i gotta go for a pee.
They cleared the lamp post the tree got a rub.
Just as Santa fell out, and threw up on my shrubs.

And next from the roof we heard such a splatter.
As each little reinder emptied his bladder.
I was donning my jockies,to cover my ass.
When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.
His suit was all smelly with perfume galore.
He looked like a bum and smelt like a whore.

"That was some brothel" he said with a smile.
"The reindeer are knackered,and i'll just stop awhile".
He staggered to the kitchen and poured himself a drink.
Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.
I started to laugh,my wife smiled with glee.
The old boy was hung almost down to his knee.

Back in the den,Santa reached for his sack.
But toy's were all gone, some odd things were packed.
The first thing he found was a false pair of tit's
Next was a handgun with a penis that spit's
A box full of condoms was Santa's next find.
And six pair of panties the edible kind.
A bra without nipples,a penis extension.
And several more things i'm embarrased to mention.

"This stuff ain't for kid's, Mrs Santa will s**t"
So let's leave 'em here,and then you can split.
He filled every stocking and then took his leave.
With a six pack of larger stuck up his sleeve.
He sprang to his sleigh,but his feet were like lead
Thus he fell on his ass and farted instead
IN time he got seated, took reigns of his hitch.
Shouted "take me home Rudolph,this night been a bitch"

HAPPY CHRISTMAS ALL
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 18-12-2007, 18:00
kompressaur's Avatar
demented c-u-n-
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 68158
Thanks: 6
Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
Re: Christmas jokes

But that was a poem Finn? I was wanting some jokes. My fav Christmas joke and one you al know is-

How did Luke Skywalker know what Darth Vader was getting for christmas?







He felt his presents

never fails to cheer me up. Here's a xmas tale of a father feeling the pinch at xmas and looking for an excuse to sell his sons computer game-
Quote:
MONTREAL (AFP) - After catching his 15-year-old smoking pot, a father sold the hard-to-get "Guitar Hero III" video game he bought his son for 90 dollars for Christmas at an online auction, fetching 9,000 dollars.
The sale took place after the father spent two weeks searching for the video game for the Nintendo Wii gameboard.

"So I was so relieved in that I had finally got the Holy Grail of Christmas presents pretty much just in the nick of time. I couldn't wait to spread the jubilance to my son," the father wrote on the eBay website.

"Then, yesterday, I came home from work early and what do I find? My innocent little boy smoking pot in the back yard with two of his delinquent friends."

The man, a school teacher, who kept his identity private, said he sold the coveted video game to punish his son and discourage him from smoking dope.

The sale was a boon for the family's bank account, since the game the father purchased for 90 dollars (US) was finally sold to an Australian who plunked down 9,100 dollars for it.

The naughty son, however, will not go without a present on Christmas.

"I am still considering getting him a game for his Nintendo. Maybe something like Barbie as the Island Princess or Dancing with the Stars ... I know he will just love them," the father said, tongue-in-cheek
Dad sells son's 90-dollar video game online for more than 9000 - Yahoo! News
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

TDP News

Latest Offers

SPORTS BETTING FORUMS

TDP FORUMS

Internet Wraps

Skysports

Front Page People

Betting Menu

Latest Big Shout

TDP Poker Usernames

Most Viewed Threads Last 48hrs Other Forums

Latest Partners

Random Member Submitted Quote


New To Site? Need Help?

All times are GMT. The time now is 02:53.