France

[Gavster]

You think France will reselect??

Listen now to Jessy Matador..

[Gavster]

On what planet do the French live?

This song seems to have been created by a group of toddlers from Aston in Birmingham being let loose on a drum machine. There is not one decipherable word throughout the entire song apart from "Allez!" Do the French think they can do anything with this other than have war declared upon them by the other 25 participating countries?

I'm on the phone to Gordon as we speak asking him if Trident is ready to strike!


edit: I'm requesting prices on this coming last right now!

edit: no success, no one is giving odds out till at least Monday it seems.

[MickeyPaul]

This song seems to have been created by a group of toddlers from Aston in Birmingham being let loose on a drum machine.

You took the words right out of my brain. It's not the worst this year though - not by a long shot (UK is worse than this I reckon). It's pretty much yer standard Eurovision dance, drum, chant. Can't see it having any impact at all and Germany to top the big 4 is even more interesting to me now.

[Gavster]

But can you in your most favourable mood even conceive how bad this could be when performed live?

YouTube - Jessy Matador en live a l'Alegra

YouTube - Jessy Matador en live a l'Alegra

He usually performs live to a backing track where he just MC's. Now he has to do everything live.

Additionally, I don't see the Bloc taking to this at all. I really do think it's UK v's France for last place!

[Gavster]

his full nastiness

[MickeyPaul]

Phew - that was pretty bad in Eurovision terms. Good for a wee pub or club or summat but.... my god. I mean your live vid incidentallly. Aye - shouty, dance is very fucking old hat as we know. We usually bin them straight off to be honest. Germany pisses all over it for quality (and Spain imo).

[Gavster]

Originally Posted by MickeyPaul

Phew - that was pretty bad in Eurovision terms. Good for a wee pub or club or summat but.... my god. I mean your live vid incidentallly. Aye - shouty, dance is very fucking old hat as we know. We usually bin them straight off to be honest. Germany pisses all over it for quality (and Spain imo).

I don't think it's hard to agree with you there Mickey! Can you honestly imagine he'll be able to pull a live performance off with shouting out the good old, "Woop Woop" and that old favourite, "Let see your hands in the air!"

[Gavster]

YouTube - Jessy Matador - Allez, Ola, Ole (France)

YouTube - Jessy Matador - Allez, Ola, Ole (France)

Official video.

I'm sorry but this is typical summertime filth seen on MTV produced by a guy with a criminal record as long as his leg!

[MickeyPaul]

I think there's a market for this kind of thing to be fair. I'm just waiting on Beanie popping in to remind us of Europe's hatred for black people. I counted pure loads in that video.

[Beanie]

If that market is degenerate Brits who like to reminisce about the poolaerobics they did in the Costa Del Whatever last year with a Stella in hand to stuff like this then yes, you're absolutely correct. Follow da leada leada leada etc etc.

[Beanie]

Oh and everyone hates black people.

[MickeyPaul]

I'd take this over that fucking Ukraine song from a few years back (gavin's horrifying ex-avatar).

Actually, no I wouldn't. I'm listening again and I hope this doesn't sound racist but all I can think of all the way through this gigantic pile of shit is the guy from police academy trying to do jungle sounds with a bit of Barry White and Africa and stuff, "brrrrrrr, drrrrrr, hup hup, yeah, brrrrrr, drrrrrrrr, woop woop, hoodah ho, mmmmm, mmmmm, hup, hup, drrrrrrr!" It's just not music, Jim.

This is a horrific effort innit? It's making me furious. They just don't let up on the brrrrrrs and mmmmmms and hup hup hups. If this song existed as a physical entity I'd bitch slap it. It's a skanky ho of a song.

[Gavster]

You leave Ukraine 2007 alone! I have that down as one of the best ever Eurovision entries! It was genius. This French effort will be a car crash - oh mon dieu, il sera moche

[Gavster]

"This year's French entrant, Jessy Matador, is about to begin the rehearsal of his Eurovision performance, with 5 other singers and dancers on stage. Castings will be made this week.

Last week, the singer and his management travelled to Miami, Florida, in order to shoot the official video of Allez ola olé, soon to be seen on France Télévisions screens. The original schedule of the song didn't include Eurovision, that's why the video given to the EBU last month was not the final one. "A remix of the song is presently being prepared" Bruno Berberes, French head of delegation declares. "With more African rhythms. We have to insist on what makes the song different from the other ones". We will shortly meet Jessy Matador and provide an interview of him, as well as an interview with Mr Berberes."


This will go down like a knackered lift!

[squallsquall]

I'm pretty heavily on this not reaching top10. Can't understand how people are betting on that @4.20...